1 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:04,240 Brace, brace! I'm bracing. 2 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:07,560 Hm. 3 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,480 His programme contains strong language and adult humour 4 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:13,440 No, no, no, no, no! 5 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:19,960 No! 6 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:24,480 Ahh! 7 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:26,680 What?! 8 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:39,160 Hello! I'm Greg Davies, and this is Taskmaster, 9 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,280 the modern-day equivalent of the Colosseum - 10 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:42,920 but instead of swords, we use tasks, 11 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,960 and instead of lions, we also use tasks. 12 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,240 And, rather than contestants fighting each other for 13 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,240 a life of respect and riches, 14 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,920 they're trying to get a rubbish trophy. 15 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,400 It's nothing like the Colosseum, happy now? 16 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,200 How about you shut your sweet mouth? 17 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,200 How about you try writing 15 series' worth of intros? 18 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,280 Too busy going for a meal with Debbie, aren't you, huh?! 19 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,920 Yeah! I see you! 20 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:07,720 Please welcome our gladiators of tasking, 21 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:09,760 Frankie Boyle... 22 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,840 ..Ivo Graham... 23 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,080 ..Jenny Eclair... 24 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:16,800 ..Kiell Smith-Bynoe... 25 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,840 ..and Mae Martin! 26 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,480 And, sitting next to me, a man who confided in me 27 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,320 that he sometimes deliberately revs his engine in traffic 28 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,840 because it makes him feel like he's in charge of all women. 29 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,960 It's... 30 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,640 Little Alex Horne! 31 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,680 Hi, Greg. Hiya. 32 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,160 Are you ready for another brand-new game show? 33 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,520 It's called Two Lies And A Truth. 34 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,640 Welcome, Greg, to Two Lies And A Truth. 35 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,360 I'll tell you two lies and a truth. 36 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,640 You've got to see if you can s-spot the truth. 37 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,680 I have ridden a camel. I have ridden a zebra. Yeah. 38 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,480 I have ridden a bicycle. Yeah. 39 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,096 I imagine you were the sort of kid who never learnt to ride a bike. 40 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:07,880 So, you think I've ridden a camel, but not a bike. That's right. 41 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:11,040 You've not made it through round one. 42 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,760 Bad start. Prize task time! 43 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:16,400 Whoo. What have we got this week? 44 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,520 Well, Mr Yummy Scrummy, you asked them to bring in 45 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,960 the object which, whenever you look at it, 46 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,080 makes you feel the weirdest. 47 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,040 Oh. I feel weirdest when I look at petrol right up close 48 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,440 for a really long time. 49 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,320 Greg will award five points for the object he agrees is most likely 50 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:34,920 to cause a feeling of weirdness. 51 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,640 And the winner of the show will take home five objects they probably 52 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,960 never want to look at again. OK, Kiell, you're up first. 53 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,640 What object have you brought in, why will it make me feel weird? 54 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,840 It's a... glove on a foot. 55 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:48,720 How do you feel? 56 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,600 I feel weird. 57 00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:53,800 Where did you encounter this foot in a glove? 58 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,880 Er, I-I created it. Oh. 59 00:02:56,920 --> 00:03:00,160 Although I should say, you can buy, sort of, latex rubber gloves, 60 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,200 but for feet. 61 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,480 I normally wear them, I don't know if I am... 62 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,680 Yeah, there we go. 63 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,240 Oh, my God! 64 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,240 I've had them on under my socks every series. 65 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,520 That's horrible. What do you mean it's horrible? 66 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,920 Because you have got horribly long toes anyway. 67 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:20,120 You could knit with those toes. 68 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,520 Thank you, Jenny, thank you. 69 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,840 Erm, where did you dream this up? 70 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:27,160 I knew it had to be a feet thing, cos feet are weird, innit? 71 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,200 like, what are they? 72 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:36,280 Erm, and then, like, rubber gloves and latex in general 73 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:37,880 are just quite like, ew. 74 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,320 The more I stare at it the weirder I feel, it's a strong opener. 75 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,240 OK, I'll log that. Next up. 76 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:45,280 Mae? 77 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:49,720 I've brought in a small object that I think can trigger like, 78 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,160 a deep existential crisis. 79 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,640 And that object is a mirror. 80 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:59,760 And, like... what are we? 81 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,080 Are we the meat, are the viewer? 82 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,560 "Are we the meat, are we the viewer?" 83 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,880 One or the other. 84 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,280 So, they did an experiment in 2010. 85 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,720 If you stare into a mirror for ten minutes, 86 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:18,760 66% of people experienced seeing huge deformations in their face. 87 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,480 I agree, I've looked into a mirror for up to ten minutes 88 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,560 when I was a child, and I found my face to be horribly deformed. 89 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,920 Yeah. And I think it works. However... Hm. 90 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,640 ..if I stared at the back of that mirror, 91 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:29,920 I wouldn't feel weird at all. 92 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,120 The thing that makes you weird, I put it to you, 93 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,040 is your own reflection, not the object you've offered up. 94 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,600 Pfff! Interesting. I mean... 95 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,040 What a round! 96 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:45,720 Ivo. I've picked some magnetic detachable reading glasses. 97 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,360 At last! Here they are. 98 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,920 There's lots that's weird about it. 99 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,120 I'm basically thrown my uncle under the bus here, 100 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,080 but every time he detaches his magnetic glasses, 101 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,800 it creeps me out. 102 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,640 I think I'd, sort of, go, "Oh." 103 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:02,280 But when I stare at the glove foot, I go, "Ooh"" 104 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,880 Kiell designed that specifically for the task. 105 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,200 He was so busy thinking about whether he could, 106 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,000 he didn't stop to think about whether he should. 107 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,360 The brief of the task was, "Whenever you look at it, 108 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,880 "it makes you feel weird." 109 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,920 So, having to look at it for ten minutes, that's immediately invalid, 110 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,400 whereas every time I see it, that it makes me feel even 111 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,240 a bit weird - it's winning so far, as far as I'm concerned. 112 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,920 Jenny. Greg, yes. What did you bring in? 113 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,720 I brought in a magic eye-painting book. 114 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,840 Yes. The original book, there it is. 115 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,800 And here is one of the pages from her book. 116 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,960 I mean, you've all seen these before, right? 117 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,840 It will work you, you just need to look as if 118 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,600 you're looking through the screen. Oh, do I need to try? 119 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,240 Well, you can, I mean... 120 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,720 Oh! 121 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:58,080 A steam train, you're right, it was a steam train. 122 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,800 That has made me feel weird. 123 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,560 All right, well, great news, Frankie, I think it's very unlikely 124 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,720 you're going to be last. 125 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,800 I've brought you medieval paintings of cats. 126 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,160 Five points. 127 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,320 For some reason, people in the Middle Ages 128 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,080 couldn't paint cats properly. 129 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,560 And it always looks really weird and disturbing. 130 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:30,840 That's from the 14th-century illustrated French manuscript 131 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,800 on Roman and Christian history. 132 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:35,680 I mean, I would argue that cats are already weird. 133 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,880 And they, sort of, know that they're weird. 134 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,280 I mean, that looks weird. 135 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:45,720 That's a guy who'd just been looking in a mirror for about ten years, 136 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,920 then suddenly looked at a cat. 137 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,480 Jesus Christ, are we the meat, or are we the viewer? 138 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,880 Do you know what I mean? 139 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:54,600 I mean, this is unbelievable 140 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:57,800 because some bloke who's brought his uncle's glasses is going to do 141 00:06:57,840 --> 00:06:59,000 quite well, here. 142 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:05,760 The least-weird thing to look at on this occasion is 143 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,800 Mae Martin's mirror. I'm sorry. 144 00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,120 1 point to Mae. 145 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,920 Yes, I can't give a magic eye painting more than a mirror, 146 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,400 that's the truth of it. I'm going to give them 1 point each. 147 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,680 Oh, bad luck. 148 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,160 That's fair enough. 149 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,360 And then, there's a big jump up, unbelievably... 150 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:25,480 ..to Ivo's uncle's collapsible glasses. 151 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:28,600 It'll take 3 points, can you imagine? 152 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:31,560 Giving 3 points for bringing them in? 153 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,280 There was a diminishing return of weirdness from the cats, 154 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,600 whereas the rubber glove on the foot made me feel consistently weird - 155 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,520 and thus, Kiell takes 5 points. 156 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,120 4 points to Frankie, 5 to Kiell. 157 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,480 OK, let's task. 158 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,040 Great shout - and we begin by splitting up one of the great bands 159 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,280 of the modern era, and forcing them to go solo. 160 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,600 Hi. 161 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:06,920 Hi, Mae. Hi. 162 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,760 Oh, hey! Hi, Mae. 163 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,480 Hiya. Hi. 164 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,880 Ivo. 165 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,360 All right? Very well, thank you. 166 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,760 Hm. Polite young man. 167 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,600 How old do you think he is? 168 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,720 41. 169 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,320 Unlucky. 170 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,880 Hello. This is exciting. Hi, there. I'm Jenny. 171 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,880 Hello, I'm Joe. What have you got, you've got a trumpet? Yeah. 172 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,480 How marvellous. Do you have piles, as well? 173 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,480 "Compose a solo for this 41-year-old ma..." 174 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:46,720 I was right! 175 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,880 It doesn't say that. 176 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:49,960 "Compose a solo for this musician." 177 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,680 "The solo must be original... 178 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,720 "And less than 30 seconds long." That's a blessing. 179 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,280 "You have five minutes. 180 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,880 "Your time starts now." 181 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,880 What instrument do you play? 182 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,680 The keyboard. The keyboard. 183 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:08,760 I think we will have my name, 184 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,840 and then, the word "taskmaster." 185 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,200 So, what notes are in that? 186 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,840 None. No. G-A, another A, 187 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,480 and then, in Taskmaster, it's quite A-heavy, isn't it? 188 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,920 Hit that one. Right. 189 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,400 Oh! I love that. 190 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,960 So, is there any, sort of, rhythm with that? 191 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,600 Yeah, jaunty. Jaunty. 192 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,160 Instead of playing it with your hands, 193 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,840 you play it with your feet. 194 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,200 Shoe off? Yeah, shoe definitely. OK. 195 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:48,120 What I'll do is I'll just sing some notes, and you just follow it, OK? 196 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:49,720 ♪ Lee-lee-la-la-la-la! 197 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,000 ♪ Compose a solo 198 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,600 ♪ Less than 30 seconds 199 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,360 Faster, faster. 200 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,400 That's it! 201 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,680 A bit better? 202 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,560 And then, I will guess how old you are. 203 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,480 You'll know when it's the right number. 204 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:18,880 I think I might. 205 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,440 Yeah, I-I love that. Good. 206 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,320 I don't want anything more than that. 207 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:23,960 Terrific. 208 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,240 Can I take that task off you, Frankie? 209 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,720 And can I swap it for that one? Oh. 210 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,840 While you're here... having that, as well. 211 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,600 "Make something that looks like this musician's musical instrument. 212 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,680 "Then mime to your new solo. 213 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,000 "You may not use a musical instrument in the creation 214 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,320 "of your musical instrument. 215 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,680 "Best performance wins." 216 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,520 I've got 15 minutes, and my time, Joe, starts now. 217 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,520 Has it started, yeah? It's started now. 218 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,840 Here's the high hat right there. 219 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:00,720 How long's a drum stick, mate? 220 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,640 Bloody hell. Yes, it's more complicated than you think. 221 00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,000 Mine's less complicated. 222 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,240 Four strings, is it? Uh-huh. Yeah. 223 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,800 How many keys does it have? 25, I'd say. 224 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,720 25. Would you settle for seven? 225 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,200 Yours isn't quite as big as mine. 226 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,080 Oh, is that what we're doing? 227 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,520 Just... quite like accuracy. Ahem. 228 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,720 Unbelievable. 229 00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:40,880 Pretty good. 230 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,840 Ah, finished? Yeah. OK. 231 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,760 Jenny, we... we frequently go south of the waist band with you, 232 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,840 I've noticed. I didn't know that trumpet players do get piles. 233 00:11:55,880 --> 00:12:00,480 Oh, yes. You did what then seemed, to me, an extreme scat. 234 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,080 I'm so unmusical. 235 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,320 I don't even recognise "Happy Birthday." 236 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,120 It's like something I can't do. 237 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,600 "I don't recognise 'Happy Bir'..." 238 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,080 We'll just let that slide? You know when people start singing 239 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,760 "Happy Birthday" and expect you to join in? And I panic because... 240 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,720 The cake must give you a clue. 241 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:19,360 I don't understand! 242 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,320 OK, I won't let you see any of their solos until after the break. 243 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,800 And if that's not enough of a tease, why... 244 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,600 ..here's a little bit of my leg. 245 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:30,800 Oop! 246 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,040 Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster. 247 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,440 It's part two, Alex. Thank God for you, Greg. 248 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:47,840 Amen. 249 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,320 Bef... 250 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:52,520 Before the break... 251 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:55,160 Before the break, our cast used five brilliant musicians 252 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,320 to create original solos, and then, found they had to mime to their solo 253 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,400 on an instrument they'd made to look like the real musician's instrument. 254 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,600 First up, with the voice of angel, 255 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,560 projected through a banana-based trumpet, 256 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,640 it's Jenny Eclair. 257 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,960 Er, I'd like now to play for you a solo piece called 258 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,080 the "Neen-Neen-Neen-Nana" song. 259 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,920 And give me a one, give me a two, give me a one, two, three! 260 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:44,880 Thank you very much, yeah. 261 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,360 Think I might have piles now. 262 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,400 I felt it was a powerful performance. 263 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,280 I think it's a beautiful instrument. 264 00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:00,240 Could you convince yourself that it was Jenny making those noises? 265 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,120 If I gobbled dish full of recreational drugs, 266 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,400 I could convince myself that was Jenny Eclair playing 267 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,520 that instrument, and indeed, that instrument was functional. 268 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:09,920 Want another one? Yes, please. 269 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,360 OK, next up, with a dramatic drum solo, 270 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,240 it's Frankie Boyle. 271 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,440 Drum solo on a count of four. 272 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,960 A-one, a-two, a-three, four! 273 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,440 I have no real memory of doing that. 274 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,440 Your face said, at the end, "I think this has gone badly." 275 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,920 But I thought it was quite good. 276 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,200 Er, I'm a bit worried cos I'm just enjoying all these. Who's next? 277 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,600 Well, there's still time. Er... 278 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:55,720 It's now time for a man who simply oozes sax appeal, Ivo Graham. 279 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,080 Welcome to the Taskmaster Jazz Festival. 280 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:04,160 It's Ivo Graham with "Toxic Golf Fumes". 281 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,560 Take it away. 282 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,000 I very much enjoyed your instrument. 283 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,480 I enjoyed the keys. All seven of them. Yes. 284 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,160 Colour. I enjoyed your performance very much. Yeah. 285 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,120 Let's leave the sentence there, I say. 286 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,320 Tick. 287 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,160 Who's next? All right, well, now it's time for Mae Martin 288 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,000 on the double bass with the toe. 289 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:52,120 I'm so excited to present my original solo, by Mae Martin. 290 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,520 Maestro, Mae-stro, am I right? 291 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,480 Er, sorry I don't want to lose points for Mae-stro. 292 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:00,320 It's too late. OK. 293 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,800 One, two, three, four. 294 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,680 Thank you so much. thank you so much. 295 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,640 I sense, while we were watching that, 296 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,680 you were disturbed by the sight of your own toe. 297 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:37,920 It doesn't look like that. 298 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,080 My foot does not look like that. Does it not? 299 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,040 No. Very dainty. S-Sexy. 300 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,520 Just trust me. You know what you need, don't you? 301 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,320 Yeah. Pop a glove on that. 302 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,200 They're like fingers, they spread, too. 303 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,200 You see what I mean, feet? What are they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 304 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,360 What are they? Right! One left. 305 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,480 Yes, it's our final solo. It's keyboard Kiell. 306 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,840 One, two, three, and... 307 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,600 ♪ Compose a solo 308 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,160 ♪ Less than 30 seconds 309 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,000 ♪ Compose a solo 310 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,600 ♪ Less than 30 seconds 311 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,560 ♪ Compose a solo 312 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,480 ♪ Less than 30 seconds long, as long, 313 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,440 ♪ That's 30 seconds long... 314 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,560 ♪ What's your age young man? 315 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,200 ♪ 41 316 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,960 ♪ 42 317 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,400 Thank you, Kiell. That's all right. 318 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,680 I, sort of, felt I couldn't look away from it, 319 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,720 but I also found it quite unsettling. 320 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,080 Sexy, though, right? 321 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,720 So sexy. Yeah. 322 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,680 I'm 54, by the way. 323 00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:55,840 I'll do you a song later. 324 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,360 Oh, Christ, that is so hard, I enjoyed all of them. 325 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,520 I'm going to give Kiell, Ivo, 326 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,440 and Jenny 5 points. Ooh! 327 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,320 And I'm going to give Frankie and Mae 4 points. 328 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:10,880 Oh? I've literally lost my goddamn mind. 329 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,920 Well, there we go, that's 5 points to Jenny, Kiell and Ivo. 330 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,440 Hooray! 331 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,640 Scoreboard time! Yes, it is. 332 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,720 Last week's winner is in last place. 333 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:25,120 Mae's got 5, Kiell has 10 points in the lead at the moment. 334 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,720 What's next, Alex? 335 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,880 Well, Greg it's the first team task of the series. 336 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,640 Ah. Hi. Hello, Mae. 337 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,280 A potato? Excellent. 338 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,400 Thanks. 339 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,320 Please, can you put that down. 340 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,160 Yeah. 341 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,800 You can pick up the potato. OK. 342 00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,000 Right. Hello! OK! 343 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,760 Hello, I'm so sorry, I can only bring you down. 344 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,360 What are you talking about? No way. 345 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,840 It's lovely. Oh, thank you. Why have you got a large potato? 346 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,640 I brought it from home. Oh, good, I wish I'd brought one. 347 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,360 We could've had... For luck. ..jackets in the garden. 348 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:38,000 Sometimes with a potato, you can smell when they're on the turn. 349 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,120 Yeah. 350 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,520 Look, we have another friend. Hello! 351 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,240 Yo. What's happening? 352 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,720 Hey. You all right? How are you? I'm good, you? 353 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,440 Would you like to hold the potato? 354 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,840 I'd love to. There you go. Enjoy. 355 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:52,000 Thank you. 356 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,480 Hello, Frankie. All right, man. I've got a potato here. 357 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:55,800 Hello, Alex. Hello, Ivo. 358 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,880 Sorry to interrupt you about the potato. 359 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:04,040 "Build the highest bridge over the middle of the red green..." 360 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,720 Red green? Red green. 361 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,040 Right, I'll start again. 362 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:13,360 "Build the highest bridge over the middle of the red green. 363 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,960 "And balance the potato on the middle of the bridge. 364 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,160 "The potato may not be anchored in any way. 365 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,160 "If anything touches the red green, 366 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,440 "you must put everything back where you found it... 367 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,720 "Tut, and go back to the drawing board. 368 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,200 "You have 20 minutes. 369 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,600 "Your time starts now." 370 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,160 I can do the tutting. 371 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,080 I'll just stand here and get ready to tut. 372 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:37,840 As the clever one, you start planning... No! 373 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,320 ..and I go and get a whole load of random shit. 374 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,680 The first thing Frankie's done is send me away. 375 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,960 The team of three seemed very comfortable together straight away. 376 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,920 Good chemistry. Good chemistry. 377 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,160 What's going on here? 378 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:56,520 I didn't know he w... 379 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,080 I thought it was some bloke delivering something. 380 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,760 So, you didn't know who Ivo was? 381 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,240 I did once I, like, fully took him in, but I thought, 382 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,160 "Someone's just wandered into the shot." 383 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,840 I would say watching Frankie and Ivo they were the most, like, a, 384 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,880 sort of, father-and-son team we've ever had - 385 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:16,320 except a father and son who haven't really spent any time together. 386 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,240 It's what you want from the team task. 387 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:21,160 The crackle of tension. 388 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,520 Not some bloody mic-muffling hug, thank you very much. 389 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,160 Thank you very much. 390 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,680 We all sniff a potato, and then, get on? 391 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,720 Boring! Not for me and my dad. 392 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,136 Do you want to see the boring team of three first? 393 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,920 Yeah, let's get them out of the way, being all nice to each other. 394 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,120 Then we can get on to this fucking shitshow. 395 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,760 Here we see Jenny, Kiell, and Mae. 396 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,840 - Gather stuff, come on. - Right, OK. 397 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,240 Gang. I'm getting different stuff. 398 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,040 Oh, I've never done this before. 399 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:59,640 It looks like there's shit on this one. 400 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,240 You want it as high as possible. Barrel on top of barrel. 401 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,480 Get it high. 402 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,960 Oh, loving your work. Wait. 403 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,920 Everyone stop. I touched the red green. 404 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,600 Please put everything back, tut, and go back to the drawing board. 405 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,040 No... I'm so... Why did you tell them? 406 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,360 Why did you tell them? 407 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:20,720 We have to tut. 408 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,600 Please be careful, Jenny. Don't do yourself. 409 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,400 Don't - stop patronising me. OK. 410 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,720 Back to the drawing board, please. 411 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,760 Touch the drawing board. 412 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,760 Oh, no, no! 413 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,240 Did it touch it? I think you may have just touched it. 414 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,600 I did, yeah. 415 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,320 Oh, tut. 416 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,360 Back to the drawing board! 417 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,960 You think two blue... 418 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,080 Two blue, barrels on top. 419 00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:01,400 It's got to be as tall as possible. 420 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,240 I think the best way we're going to do it is with duct tape. 421 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,920 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think we can get higher than this? 422 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,440 Yes! Is a pole taller than these at the moment? 423 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:13,720 Like that? Yeah, we ca... 424 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,720 OK, OK. So, we just need duct tape. 425 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,120 We have a new plan. 426 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,120 I-I'm putting this down. Fuck that. OK. 427 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,960 Why don't we make this wider? 428 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:26,920 Three-and-a-half minutes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 429 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:29,560 OK. Ooh, no, no, no! 430 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:31,840 Two minutes, 20. Careful, careful. 431 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,440 I can't bear it. 432 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,760 OK, slow raise at the same time. 433 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,120 ♪ Come on, magic potato 434 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,080 ♪ Up to the sky 435 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,200 ♪ Up to the sky 436 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:46,240 Stop the clock, I think. 437 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:48,280 I think we could go higher. No, I'm scared. 438 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,800 I'm coming round to help, Mae. 439 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,240 OK... Oh, whoa, whoa! 440 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,120 Come on a bit more. Come on, higher, higher. 441 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,400 OK, stop the clock, stop the clock. Higher, higher. No! 442 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,480 Higher, stop the clock now! 443 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,120 You want me to measure it? Yes! Yeah. 444 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,880 OK, lovely stuff. Ohh! 445 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,520 Well done. Super teamwork. 446 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,600 Oh... No, don't let it touch! 447 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,240 First things first. 448 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,800 Let's see a clip of Jenny getting rid of that plank again. 449 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,880 Here she is. Yeah. 450 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:24,200 Fuck that! 451 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,600 Yeah. 452 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,256 She did say, at one point, "It's like a day out with your nana, 453 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,760 "but quite a weird nana." 454 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,880 You got the magic potato up to the sky, 455 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:37,680 and I think you're a lovely team. 456 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,040 Yeah, they did pretty well. 457 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,440 They got about the same height as if you imagine the average 458 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,120 three-year-old standing on the shoulders, or the head actually, 459 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,080 of maybe a taller-than-average ten-year-old, 460 00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:48,440 or an average 11-year-old. That's about the - so two... 461 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,760 How high, was it? Two metres 40, sorry. Right. 462 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,440 Right, then, everyone, we're halfway through the show. 463 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,080 Alex, run me a bath, and then, get your scrubbing brush. 464 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,440 Let's see if we can't some of this dead skin off. 465 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,960 Hey, hello! Welcome back to part three of Taskmaster, 466 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,640 where I'm now as smooth as an eel. 467 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:20,440 Yes, we got it all off! We got it all off...! 468 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:21,480 Mm, mm! 469 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,440 The current task involves trying to make the highest bridge to support 470 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,280 a potato, but if anything touches the red green - 471 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,960 it's quite salty - they have to put everything back 472 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,400 where they found it, tut, and go back to the drawing board. 473 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,520 We've seen the team of three build and tut, 474 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,480 now let's see Frankie and Ivo work together as a pair. 475 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,160 Do you want some chalk? Yes, I would, please. 476 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,360 I don't actually... 477 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,280 You know, I don't want to come across as too much of a snowflake, 478 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,520 but, er, I don't enjoy the sensation of chalk on a chalkboard. 479 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,080 Ah. 480 00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,160 Oh, I like those. This might inspire something. 481 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,120 I haven't done much with the board yet. 482 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,800 Hm. 483 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,040 I think I'd probably like to borrow a s... 484 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:09,320 A board brush. 485 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:14,200 Er, a board clearer, a dusting... tool. 486 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:19,960 Lot of pressure on Frankie, I think. 487 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,160 What's your idea? 488 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,400 Well, I've certainly cleared the board. 489 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,640 My idea right, and it may be a bad idea... Good. 490 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:29,280 ..we just try and go from the top of the caravan to the top of that, 491 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,240 kind of, geodesic dome. 492 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,920 And we stick the potato in the middle. 493 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,480 To the top of what? The geo... 494 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,880 Our geodesic dome. 495 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,560 It's probably - is that what it is? The ge-geodesic dome. Yeah. 496 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,640 That little greenhouse.Great. 497 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,160 It's really the opposite of the shape we need. 498 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,600 Well... Well. ..that's an ugly start. 499 00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,520 It certainly makes you think about what could be achieved 500 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:53,360 closer to the... Yeah. 501 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,080 Ivo. Yeah? 502 00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:56,600 That's lower than the ladder. 503 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,920 That's lower than the ladder. 504 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,240 Well, I think we should abandon that and move nearer the thing. 505 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,680 OK, don't drop that. Can we be in it? 506 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:09,600 Yeah, we can be human parts of the bridge, nothing says we can't. 507 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:10,880 Yes! 508 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:14,240 I'm going to have a bit of a rootle round the house. 509 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:17,840 We could roll it in a tube. Mate. 510 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,760 The second ladder. Frankie! 511 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,320 Yeah. Perhaps we should've done more work on our planning phase. 512 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:27,680 I think skipping the plan was thrilling. 513 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,640 Now, measure the blighter. Yeah, yeah. 514 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,720 I don't really know how to measure it. 515 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,080 What's the matter, Alex? Can't reach our spud? 516 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:38,600 There we go. 517 00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,680 Very happy with that. Well done, Ivo. 518 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,080 I'm going to let this go now. 519 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,280 This is like a 1970s sitcom. 520 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,760 People from a different class! 521 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:57,080 "I'm the lord, but he's the master." 522 00:27:57,120 --> 00:28:02,680 I feel, despite what might seem like differences between us, 523 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,240 I've got nothing but love for Mr Ivo Graham. 524 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:10,400 And I felt that most of the success of the task was due to Ivo 525 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,440 prompting me to be less wrong. 526 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,760 A really genuinely sweet thing that 527 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,120 somehow still sounded like a threat. 528 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,680 How high did they go though? 529 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,720 It was as high as Hagrid jumping over a loaf of bread. 530 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:31,080 Well, he's two metres, 59 - two metres, 81. 531 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,400 41 centimetres higher than the team of three. 532 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,680 Well, they both fairly effective, weren't they? 533 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,240 Yes, but there must be a gulf. Yeah, five and three. 534 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,400 OK, so 3 points to the team of three, 535 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:43,360 5 points to Daddy and Son! Daddy and Son! 536 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,960 Let's have a rootle around and see if we can get another task. 537 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,440 Yes, here we go, deep breath. 538 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,120 Kiell. How's it? 539 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:11,360 Watch this. 540 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:20,840 How'd you do that? Uh-huh. 541 00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:24,600 Well, that was cool. Thank you. 542 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,240 Oh, it went, oh... 543 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,840 Did that not work? It was meant to go the other way up. 544 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,120 Hi, chief. 545 00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,360 Are you ready? Oh, yeah. 546 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:48,560 "Achieve the most impressive effect with a single breath. 547 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,120 "You must take your breath and achieve your effect 548 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,720 "within the next 20 minutes. 549 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:55,760 "The most impressive effect..." 550 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,520 Effect. 551 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:01,120 Hm. 552 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,480 Blowing out a... a candle, 553 00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,120 not in itself very impressive. 554 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:10,600 But perhaps if it achieved complete darkness within a space, 555 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,640 that would be quite boring and bad television. 556 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,800 I need to find a dying frog. 557 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,480 Or a tiny bird that I can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to. 558 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,080 Is it raining? No. 559 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:26,600 All right, come on, then. 560 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,000 Is this the first time in, 15 series of this show, 561 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,320 that we've been asked for a dying frog? 562 00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:37,520 Second. Second. 563 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,000 Second time. 564 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:42,320 Well, I'm very keen to see the impressive effect that these people 565 00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:43,600 did with a single breath. 566 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:45,240 Oh. 567 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,280 Lovely. 568 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,920 OK, up first, it's Mae and Kiell. 569 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,560 Hello, again. Hi. 570 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:57,720 This is just phase one. 571 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:00,880 So, we need some pipes. 572 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:02,520 Couple of bricks. 573 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,000 It's going to be incredible. 574 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,960 I've never worked so hard in my life. 575 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:14,800 Right, you've put a mop on a duck. 576 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:16,080 On a shed. 577 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:19,040 Yes. 578 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,240 You've got four minutes, Mae. Oh, my God. 579 00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,760 Argh! 580 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,560 That's not even science, man. 581 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,240 I'm going to blow it down, one huge breath, 582 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,000 and then, hopefully it's going to hit the xylophone. 583 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,600 That's the end, that'll be... 584 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:37,880 That'll be the... 585 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:39,120 Ahh! 586 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,160 Oh, my God. 587 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,400 Good luck, Kiell. 588 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,400 Ah! 589 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:54,960 Ready? Good luck. 590 00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,120 Don't fail me, OK. 591 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,960 You ready? I'm ready. 592 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,600 Are you ready? 593 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:05,840 They're ready. 594 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:18,240 Ahem. 595 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:34,600 Ohh! 596 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:37,760 Hee-hee-hee! 597 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:39,840 Oh, God, that was satisfying. 598 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:01,160 I'm going to blow this with a single breath. 599 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,040 Someone'll say that was more impressive that what I did. 600 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,560 And I'm going to kick off. 601 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:17,280 Mae, I think you're fast becoming an expert at these tasks. 602 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:18,720 Oh, thank you. 603 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,840 They beaver away, they create something. 604 00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,720 I beaver away famously. 605 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:32,080 I... 606 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,080 Great beavering. And... 607 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:36,120 Thank you. 608 00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:38,040 ..what a lovely pipe at the end of it, as well. 609 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,960 There was a real contrast between the two. 610 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:41,440 Oh, come on! 611 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,200 What Kiell's very good at is having the confidence of someone 612 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:46,200 who's doing a good job. 613 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,120 The self-belief is sensational. 614 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,680 I didn't really take into consideration that... 615 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,640 ..I'm not able to blow a golf ball. 616 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,200 Oh, no, stuff went wrong way before then. 617 00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:02,280 Next up are two comedians known simple as Jenny Eclair 618 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,200 and Frankie Boyle. 619 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:05,800 Hello, Jenny. Hello, Alex. 620 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,880 I'd like to show you my party trick. 621 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:11,280 Er, the most impressive thing I can do with a single breath... 622 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:12,600 ..is save this caravan. 623 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:15,960 About here is it? Yeah. 624 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:20,920 You just need to be ready to duck. 625 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,520 I'm ready to duck. 626 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:27,200 Going to save this caravan from a roaring inferno. 627 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,560 Jenny? 628 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:49,920 Jenny? 629 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,880 I saved the caravan! 630 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,400 Is it definitely out? Yeah. 631 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,280 Was it one breath? One breath. 632 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,320 Can I just check - can we stand down all the fire officers now? 633 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,440 Slightly over the top, wasn't it? 634 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,560 There's a lot of them. Thank you, Jenny. 635 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,520 Single breath. 636 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:33,760 Do you think it was impressive? 637 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,560 It would've been impressive if they'd let me really set fire to 638 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,360 the curtains, but they were being a bit wet about it. 639 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,040 Yeah, so it is their fault, but really, it was just you 640 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,960 blowing on the corner of a curtain. 641 00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:47,720 She saved the caravan, there's no doubt about it. 642 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,600 If she hadn't blown it out... It would've been a blazing inferno. 643 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,400 Yeah. Why was I so impressed by Frankie Boyle being a naughty boy? 644 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:57,240 Everyone hates golf. 645 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,040 Everyone. 646 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:02,640 I've never really played golf, 647 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:03,960 because I'm not trapped in 648 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,080 a loveless marriage. 649 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:13,160 Frankie got slightly lucky, cos our garden backs onto a golf course. 650 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,560 Your first instincts were to blow a whistle in a matinee or a church. 651 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,040 Both of which I would've enjoyed. 652 00:36:21,080 --> 00:36:25,840 OK, one part left until someone wins a glove that Kiell put on a foot. 653 00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:27,200 Feel the rush! 654 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,360 Hello! And welcome back to Taskmaster. 655 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,280 We've got a task that needs completing, 656 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,080 and Alex is about to fill you in on why. 657 00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:45,880 Yes, the comedians have been trying to achieve the most impressive 658 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:47,360 effect with a single breath. 659 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,800 There's only one person left to see, and it's Ivo! 660 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:54,680 Can I try and get on the radio and just breathe? 661 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:00,880 Yeah, that's impressive. Yeah. 662 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,280 When I'm speaking to the producer, I'm a bit more like, er, 663 00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,320 "Yes I've got an opinion about wind farms." 664 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,720 But then, once I'm on the air... 665 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:10,880 Erm, 5 Live. 666 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:13,920 Yeah, you've got... 667 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,680 Y-Yeah, I know... 12 minutes. 668 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,080 It's just hung up. 669 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:23,800 Er, I'll instead call, er, Greg. 670 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,440 Will he recognise your breath? 671 00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,080 Hello, I'm sorry, but the person you've called... 672 00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:34,960 No! 673 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,160 That's agony. That's agony. 674 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,800 I will breathe down a phone today. 675 00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:51,520 Right. 676 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,160 Three-and-a-half minutes, by the way. Yeah. 677 00:37:56,120 --> 00:38:01,680 Er, I'd like to apologise for the wilful damage of fancy glassware. 678 00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:03,480 I'm going to call Ed Gamble. 679 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,360 Previous Taskmaster contestant. 680 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,400 Winner and host of the Taskmaster podcast. 681 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:14,800 Hello, Ivo. 682 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:36,680 Is Ed still on the line? No, he hung up. 683 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:40,880 It feels like 1 point, doesn't it? 684 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,200 I mean, the whole attempt was extraordinary. 685 00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:50,200 The trouble is nothing happened. It was a single breath - 686 00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:53,680 and the single breath, it had no effect at all. 687 00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:56,440 My instinct is, is to say Ivo gets 1 point, 688 00:38:56,480 --> 00:39:00,520 but then, I remember Jenny blowing on the corner of a curtain. 689 00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,600 I'm going to give them both 1 point. 690 00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,400 You're giving Jenny fewer points than Kiell. 691 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,600 Hey, hey, hey! Look, don't bring me into it. 692 00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,440 He's having a nice time over here, let him do his thinking. 693 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,800 He blew at a golf ball three times, and nothing happened. 694 00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,640 Hey, hey, hey, look! But he constructed a thing. 695 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,600 I can't believe what's going on here. 696 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,160 I just, er, I need to report from the front line, 697 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:24,760 and it was very disappointing. 698 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:27,800 Yeah, the first three! 699 00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,880 And then, the fourth one was fucking sick! 700 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,680 Yeah, but it was a single breath, Kiell. 701 00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:35,600 Do you know what it is? I've been hypnotised by your charm. 702 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,520 And I was about to give you 2 points when you don't deserve them. 703 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:41,080 Alex! Thank God my little assistant's here. 704 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,880 So, you can have 1 point, as well. Shit's sake! 705 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,880 On point... Hang on - mine is the same, the same? 706 00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,160 Yeah. I-I don't know where that finger's pointing. 707 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,000 To you! 708 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,160 One, one, one. 709 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,320 I mean, I've got to say, 710 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,320 I'm not especially impressed with any of these. 711 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:02,880 Right, OK. What about me? 712 00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,120 Well, there's, like, the "bing" at the end. 713 00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,480 Bing was good. But is it a 5-point bing? 714 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,360 Yeah. I don't think it's a 5-point bing. 715 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,320 Are you sure you just haven't become jaded with 716 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:13,800 the concept of the show? 717 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,240 I don't think that's the case. 718 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,040 We haven't got a 5-point bing, 719 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:23,720 and I can't give a grown man putting a golfer off 5 points. 720 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,440 Who wins the task, Greg? OK, Mae wins the task. 721 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,040 And I've already told you it wasn't a 5-point bing, 722 00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,480 so logic would tell you that Mae gets 4 points, 723 00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:34,840 and Frankie gets 3. 724 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:38,440 OK, so well done, Mae, you've sort of won the task, 4 points! 725 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,080 Kiell, are you all right? 726 00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:45,440 I'm fumin'. 727 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:51,040 One last look at the scores! At the top of the pile, 728 00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,800 it's Frankie Boyle with 16 points! 729 00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,080 OK, it's time to leave your seats and head to the stage for, 730 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,040 guess what, the final task of the show! 731 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:13,480 I'm already excited. Oh, yes. 732 00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:15,800 Who's going to read it out? Ivo Graham this time. 733 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,000 Ah. 734 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,800 "Create a recognisable picture of an animal on the back of your T-shirt 735 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:23,160 "using the equipment provided. 736 00:41:23,200 --> 00:41:25,080 "You must stay on your spot, 737 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,680 "and you must not move your spot. 738 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:30,080 "If you create the same animal as someone else, 739 00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,800 "you will both be disqualified. 740 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:36,320 "Best recognisable picture of an animal on your back wins. 741 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,880 "You have 200 seconds." 742 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:39,160 Put an animal on your back. 743 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,480 If it's the same animal as someone else, you get nothing. 744 00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,800 Good luck, your time starts... 745 00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,400 What sort of animals are you hoping for, Greg? 746 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,840 Baboon. 747 00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:53,080 Hedgehog. 748 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:57,840 OK, so remember, on the backs of your T-shirts. 749 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,160 We've got halfway. 750 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,360 Go on, Jennie! 751 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,560 Oh, bless you, darling, that's very kind. That's it. 752 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,640 That's all we need, in terms of audience interaction, 753 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:22,080 one woman shouting, "Go on, Jenny." 754 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,160 Do you want the same woman to shout anything again? 755 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,360 They could encourage a different contestant. 756 00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,360 Yeah, that's... 757 00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,600 35 seconds left now, Greg. Not long. 758 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:35,320 I mean, Kiell completed his about two full minutes ago. 759 00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:36,840 Frankie is also finished. 760 00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:41,000 Oh, shi... 761 00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:48,760 Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two... 762 00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,080 Please put down your materials. 763 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,480 First to reveal their animal, it's going to be Frankie Boyle. 764 00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,480 Are you ready to witness his animal? 765 00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:05,480 I'm absolutely beside myself. 766 00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,200 It's the unmistakably rigid shape... 767 00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:17,800 ..of a deceased snake. 768 00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:21,280 Frankie, is that what you were trying to achieve? 769 00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,080 Yes. Yes. 770 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:27,200 If there's one thing you famously say about snakes, 771 00:43:27,240 --> 00:43:28,800 they are straight. 772 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,760 Lotta different kinds of snakes, Greg. 773 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:36,360 Can we see the second animal? 774 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,120 OK, Ivo, please turn around and show us your animal. 775 00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:48,280 Bearing mind that Ivo was the only person who discovered the scissors. 776 00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,040 I don't love what that implied. 777 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:52,840 What animal is it, Greg? 778 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:54,720 I think it's a jaunty giraffe. 779 00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,400 I aimed for jaunty. I'm glad that's been recognised. 780 00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,760 Is it a giraffe? 781 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,040 Oh, oh, yes. I... 782 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,400 Jenny Eclair, what do we have? 783 00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,440 Butterfly. Butterfly. 784 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:09,080 And it's really good. I like it. 785 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,520 This is Jenny's finest hour. 786 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:16,920 Are we ready for Kiell's? 787 00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:20,440 Kiell used 30 seconds of his allotted time. 788 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,520 Oh! 789 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,280 Oh, dear. Oh, no. 790 00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,520 This seems very cruel. 791 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:31,880 But sadly, it's another snake. 792 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:33,520 It could be a stick insect. 793 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,000 Is it a snake, Kiell? 794 00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,360 It's a bendy snake. 795 00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:40,400 Fair point. 796 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,920 Frankie and Kiell were first and second in the episode. 797 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:44,680 They're both... Cruelly disqualified. 798 00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:46,720 Both now out. OK, Mae. 799 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,960 Oh, my God, that's good. Why's that so good? 800 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,440 It's not just a bit of tape stuck on a board, Kiell, 801 00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:55,920 that's why it's good. Fuck. 802 00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,560 I think it might be an extinct bird? 803 00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,000 A dodo? 804 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:04,760 It isn't - oh. 805 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,720 But it's enough to say it's a bird. 806 00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:08,480 Yeah, it's a duck. I-It's a bird... 807 00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:10,840 It's a bird, that's what counts! It's a bird. OK. 808 00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:12,120 Two snakes bite the dust. 809 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,520 Who'd've thought that the heel-clicking jaunty giraffe 810 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:15,800 would get 3 points? 811 00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,120 And yet, there it is, 3 points to the giraffe. 812 00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:20,520 And honestly, they're both very good. 813 00:45:20,560 --> 00:45:23,880 But for me, Jenny's beautiful butterfly just takes it. 814 00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,520 So, 4 points to Mae, and 5 points to Jenny Eclair, 815 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:27,760 and that's an end to it. 816 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,920 OK, there we go, well done, Jenny Eclair! 817 00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,400 Come down, we'll see how that's effected the final scores! 818 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,000 Well, that's got to put the old proverbial cat amongst the pigeons, 819 00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,560 hasn't it? It really has, and none of them made cats or pigeons, 820 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:48,840 they made beautiful animals. 821 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,040 Yes, they did. Unfortunately, there were two snakes. 822 00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:52,320 The final scores are so close. 823 00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:54,400 There's only 3 points separating the five of them. 824 00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,360 Frankie and Mae are in joint-second place, 825 00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:57,720 but the winner, with 17 points. 826 00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,880 Ivo Graham! 827 00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,640 Ivo Graham wins! 828 00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:08,400 Please leap up to look at your objects and feel weird! 829 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,120 So, what have we learnt today? 830 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,920 We've learnt that if your husband's back late from a round of golf, 831 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,880 he's not necessarily having an affair. 832 00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:21,200 His swing might have been impeded by Frankie Boyle's whistle. 833 00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:22,520 That's all for now. 834 00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,960 Four people didn't win this week, but one definitely did. 835 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:26,200 And you know who it was? 836 00:46:26,240 --> 00:46:28,680 I know, it was Ivo Graham! 837 00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:29,840 Bye! 838 00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:57,000 Subtitles by Red Bee Media